Just a day in the life... · OCD

Joys of Impending Motherhood…

So, I just entered my third trimester and it is really starting to sink in that in just a few short months Pat and I are going to be parents! Eeek! If that wasn’t scary enough… there are so many things that we still need to do! When I first got pregnant, I felt like I had all the time in the world… I mean nine months is a lot of time, right? Wrong.

For the first three months all I wanted to do was sleep…sleep and try not to throw up on myself, which I did on more than one occasion. Morning sickness is no joke people… it’s not all pickles and ice cream and eating everything you want to just because you can… there was a time when I had an emergency “morning sickness kit” (toothbrush, Kleenex, plastic bag..etc) in my car and my pockets were filled with ginger chews. Luckily, those days have passed, but so have the days of:

  • Fitting into normal pants… and by normal, I mean pants with zippers, buttons or snaps!
  • Being able to walk up and down the stairs without getting incredibly winded and exhausted.
  • Sleeping through the night, or an hour, without having to use the lady’s room at least five times. I swear as soon as I get warm and comfortable in bed, my little one decides to use my bladder as a trampoline. She’s a gem, really.


Now that I am finally ready to start “nesting” and preparing for our daughter’s arrival, I feel like I am so far behind. I swear it should go like this…

Step 1. have sex (or call the stork…etc)

Step 2. pee on a stick, or eight, if you’re obsessive like me.


…and then immediately after…

Step 3. Start looking at child care facilities, pediatricians, child birth classes

I found it to be really hard to start planning for a child when I wasn’t even comfortable yet telling people that we were pregnant. There is so much fear in the beginning that you won’t make it past those fragile first 12 weeks… I couldn’t even buy a hat for our baby, because it felt like too much of a commitment… do you really think I was ready to start looking into her educational future? Absolutely not.

Anyways, in the last month or so, Pat and I have quickly jumped onto the childcare bandwagon… We have been researching and taking tours of a lot of different facilities. That being said, trying to find a place that a normal person feels comfortable leaving their child is hard…trying to find a place that an OCD person feels comfortable leaving their child is nearly impossible.

I want to leave our daughter with people I trust, in an environment that is not only incredibly nurturing and warm, but also incredibly clean! All of the places that have met those standards have waiting lists that span out to Spring of 2014… which doesn’t really work since I have to go back to work in late summer. sigh.

If that wasn’t bad enough, an article was just published in Seven Days that outlines the troubled childcare system in Vermont. Some of the highlights included:

  1. A 3-year old boy found wandering across four lanes of traffic and a childcare provider that didn’t realize he was missing because “someone just didn’t count heads.”
  2. A provider who “grabbed and squeezed a child’s face with one hand, followed by pushing the child away because the child walked into a puddle.”
  3. Derogatory or humiliating remarks made by staff, which included names like hog, retard, moron, idiot, stupid and momma’s boy.
  4. life-threatening bottle-feeding practices. In one case, an infant was observed sleeping in a portable crib with a “boppy pillow placed under the infant’s head, with a blanket wrapped around the sides to hold the bottle in the infant’s mouth.”
  5. Oh and this lovely scenario…“one teacher held a preschool-age child by the ankles, swinging the child like a bat at a dodge ball thrown at the child by a second teacher … hitting the child in the chest area several times. The child’s arms flailed and the child appeared to be upset.”

Are they serious? Paying for childcare is like having a second mortgage. Some places charge $200-280 a week. I refuse to pay that amount of money just to have my child neglected and verbally and emotionally abused.

That being said, we did find some really wonderful places that I would trust completely taking care of our baby. Now I just need to figure out how to get in! What does a momma need to do?! Suggestions and recommendations are welcome!

Next on our list.. child birth classes!


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