In all honesty, does anyone really like to go to the doctors? I know I don’t, but probably for very different reasons than most “normal” individuals. I hate basically everything about the doctor’s office and I don’t hesitate to tell them so. I recently had to go and get a yearly physical. I hadn’t been in about six years and I didn’t want my primary care physician to drop me from the practice, which I guess they do if they haven’t seen you recently. Weird.
Anyways, as soon as I got there my anxiety went up. I swear the lobby just smells like sickness and everyone in there looks like they are just barely hanging on. I checked in, using my own pen to fill out the paperwork, and then found the seat I deemed farthest away from everyone else. Phew. I feel like everything in this building just screams “Danger, Danger.”
Now I won’t go into any personal stuff, but here are just a few things that I hate during a routine appointment:
1. The scale
All women hate the scale at the doctor’s office. It usually makes you ten pounds heavier and instead of being in a bathroom, alone, where you can see your weight without scrutiny, you are in a hallway with the nurse going “hmmmm, looks like someone gained a few pounds, eh?” It’s like, really, really? Way to kick me in the teeth when I’m already down. I hate the scale for this reason, but also because the nurse always looks at me weird when I say I’d prefer to keep my shoes on. Yes, I want to keep my shoes on. Are you crazy? I’d rather be five pounds heavier, if that means my feet will be fully protected from any foot fungi that’s been left there from the previous patient. Please and thank you.
2. The wait
I’ve never really understood why they call you into “the little room,” only to make you wait for an additional 30-minutes, by yourself, in a robe with no back and a room full of “hazardous” waste. Sure, I’d love to sit here with the box of used needles, that doesn’t cause me any anxiety at all. Gah-NOT. I know it has a lid, but can’t they hide it somewhere? In a cabinet maybe – anywhere that is not in plain sight for all OCD patients to see and stress about?
3. The smiley faces
Do these look familiar? I hate this sign. How am I feeling? Of course the doctor probably wants to know how I’m physically feeling. Physically, I am super. Never better. Nothing hurts, so I guess I’m a zero. You get the response, “great!” …then I want to yell, “Don’t you want to know where I rank emotionally?” Emotionally, I am going crazy. My mind is racing trying to remember everything I might have touched that could have caused me harm. My anxiety level is above a 10 and any second I am going to look like the crying smiley face. So, I guess if you want to average the two, I am about a six, but probably with at least one tear.
In all reality, the visit was fine. My doctor is very nice and understanding of all my obsessive tendencies and for any of you who care, I have an excellent cholesterol level, great glucose levels, and my blood pressure (after my white-coat anxiety went down) is just fine.
Got your own doctor’s office phobias? Let me know!